Are you always saying ‘yes’?

What’s the emotional cost you’re paying for always saying yes to others?

If saying ‘no’ is not in your nature, there is a part of you that probably believes that others’ needs are more important than yours. Or that even when you long for taking care of yourself, you end up pushing your boundaries always saying ‘yes’ to others.

Those who are brought up to care for and nurture others, find saying ‘no’ extremely challenging. This is particularly the case among women, since we’re traditionally been socialized to look after others.

Saying ‘yes’ may come easily. Yet a ‘no’ is surrounded by self-doubt:

Will I come across as rude?
Is this going to start a fight?
What if the other person thinks that I don’t care?

Every time we believe these fears and follow their unsolicited advice we pay a price. I’m obviously not talking about a monetary price but an emotional one.

Because if you’re always saying yes to others, you probably end up feeling resentful, anxious, angry or frustrated. So, if you really have a hard time saying no, your emotional well-being is taking a toll.

Whenever I notice an inner resistance to saying ‘no’ or that I’m not fully committed to my ‘yes’, I think of one my teachers. In an online course I did last year, Oren Jay Sofer shared a different perspective to saying ‘no.’

Imagine that someone you love dearly never disagrees with you. This person always says ‘yes’ to whatever you ask, discuss or share. Someone who doesn’t express an opinion different than yours.

Would you trust this person?

The thing is that saying ‘no’, especially if it comes from a place of care and compassion, can really foster authenticity and connection.

So next time you’re struggling with your boundaries ask yourself this question:

What’s the emotional cost you’re paying for always saying ‘yes’ to others?

What about you? Is it hard for you to say ‘no’? Are you alwayins saying ‘yes’ when you actually would rather not to?

I would love to hear from you.

Let me know down below the comments! 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

Blog post image by: Cotton Bro Studio